He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sober January is a disaster.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
