This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
