There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
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I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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