he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
