i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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