Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
