Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
