dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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