so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
