I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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