I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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