Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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