You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
