I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
