that's an acceptable place to lick
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
