Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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