Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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