Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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