It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize