In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
