How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
