She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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