Duck Duck Cougar?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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