no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
