I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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