Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
