Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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