Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
