at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
