I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
