im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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