I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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