Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize