i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize