dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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