Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
