Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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