sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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