dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
