Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love having hate sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
