we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
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...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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