he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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