we're blogging at a bar
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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