Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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