He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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