It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
