can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
