It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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