He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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