kristin has been a bad kristin
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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