I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize