i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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