Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
