Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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