You really coming over, don't trick.
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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