She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize