I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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