whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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