You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I love you. Go after that dick
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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