My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
