Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
