I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
