I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
