I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
